The ideal number of minutes for my afternoon naps is 15. I can also enjoy a 20 minute nap if I am feeling leisurely. But 15 is ideal. And usually I wake up refreshed but sometimes I have the strangest waking up experience.

So instead of a 15 minute nap (perfect!), it turns into an hour of wiped out dead sleep (yuck).

By dead sleep, I kinda just mean that. I just conk out. There’s being awake, and there’s just not. And in this space I am not even sure if I dream. It just goes to black and I don’t know I’m asleep until I’m awake. Even then, on waking, I don’t really understand I have been asleep. 

Because when it’s been one of these totally dead sleep nap-times, I will often wake up and have no idea of my reality. So I’m awake eyes open but brain is definitely still snoozing.

What day is it? No idea.

Where am I? Nope, nothing.

Who am I? ❓️❓️❓️❓️

It’s like my body has been yanked back to awake land, and my brain is still swimming around in the dreamy dark, wondering what is dark? Why is dark? Am I dark? Does dark exist when I am not being dark too…?

Swimming in the dark, and trying to resurface. 

Another way of explaining it is like your arm has gone numb and you can’t feel it at all (what arm? I don’t have an arm. Definitely can see it but definitely can’t feel it). 

Then eventually you start to get a few funny sensations and then the feeling starts to flood back in. That’s kinda how the waking up from the oversleep dead sleep feels too. Only instead of your arm going numb, it’s your brain.

Hang on, I know where I am. I’m in a room. What room…? Hmm…could be some kind of living room, or, wait…it is a living room…yes! I know this room! It’s my living room. And today is a day. It’s a day that’s not a Tuesday…wait…got it! It’s a Wednesday!

It’s weird as the waking brain starts rippling and flexing, and the sleep brain slowly retreats again…back into it’s darkness.

So weird. So, so weird.

#everydaynarcolepsy

#narcolepsy #sleep #awake #brain #alarm #weird