Tag: coaching

  • The promise of perfect

    Who’s up for a challenge?

    Come join me, for not a quick fix. Take a chance on a journey where you are not buying a promise. Welcome to the space of not solving your problems for you, and, hello to can’t offer you perfect, despite it’s shiny, sparkling appeal.

    Welcome to honesty.

    Eeek. I know. What could be more terrifying than taking a good, long, look at yourself.

    It’s up there.

    Hell, you might even notice that there are whispers of ‘not perfect’ about your human being. Not surprising really, when perfect is the promise of something that doesn’t exist.

    And you exist.

    And existing is a messy business.

    My challenge to you requires some willingness for depth. I know, that can feel a bit scary. We aren’t encouraged to deep dive and share. But guess what, this isn’t meant to be comfy and it’s not meant to be easy. However, that’s why I’m here with you for the ride. You don’t do this alone. So, if you are willing, and I sense you are an explorer at heart, taking one step at a time into who you are, will ultimately be much more rewarding than another conversation about the weather.

    I’m interested in going a bit deeper than chit chat. I want to see you for who you really are. To notice your talents and your gifts. To understand your scars. Hear what scares you and talk to the wise parts of yourself, even if they are buried within you. And then we work together to uncover the you that has been waiting to be discovered. The real human. Your true self.

    So folks, it’s not for the faint-hearted, this coaching thing. What I offer you is a challenge, and therefore, it has all the ingredients of something you can feel proud of. It can be something meaningful. Because really seeing yourself is about owning the fragments, the ragged edges, the unknowns, the doubts, and discovering the value you bring to life – not in spite of your un-perfect-self – but because of it.

    What I offer, is a very human experience.

    I know that might sound a bit cheesy. Of course we are all having a “human experience” – by nature of being alive. But what I am talking about is the quality of our human experience. What makes us truly human – our best human stuff – can easily get forgotten and crowded out by all the noise. And right now, there seems to be a lot of noise.

    Competition hides cooperation. Success hides failure. Quick wins hide the slow gritty road to learning something new.

    There are whole empires built on creating stories that tell us who we are and what perfect looks like. And these messages are compelling. But not true.

    It’s easy to think that you are lagging behind, just short of making it happen (whatever “it” might be) and needing one more push to…what…? And it’s often easier to chase the promise of something that doesn’t even exist than to pause, and consider what reality looks like. For you. Right now. And guess what, surprise, surprise, it’s not perfection that sits waiting for you in that pause space. It’s something much more exciting.

    Possibility.

    So if this ignites you or sparks a shift within you, then you might be ready for a challenge to get brave. Get curious. Get courageous about your messy, funny, ugly-beautiful, imperfect and utterly delightful self and start trusting you already know what you need. If you tried muting some of the outside noise, and started listening to yourself, what possibilities do you think could develop?

    Feel free to get in touch for a chat if you want to go a little deeper.

    Let’s chat

  • Wants and Needs

    I was having coffee with a friend recently, and we were talking about The Sleep Lab and discussing what healthy sleep looks like. Then they made a comment that has been bouncing around in my head ever since. 

    “I can look up anything I need to know about sleep. So, why would I need a sleep coach?”

    It’s a really good question. And one that I have been asked several times, and I keep on revisiting my answer.

    Yes, lots of people have access to lots of knowledge. We are undeniably living in the age of information. Yet, information is only useful if we know what to do with it. 

    a) do we always understand how to apply what we know?

    b) and even when we understand, do we always have the support, accountability and headspace to implement what we know?

    Sleep research talks about how sleep deprivation affects your brain, and when I started reading more about the science of sleep, I found this information clicked for me. 

    It’s also quite scary stuff.

    • 24 hours without sleep – you are operating like someone who is over the legal alcohol limit – behaviour that mimics being intoxicated – and yet how many of us have driven a car while sleep deprived?
    • 48 hours without sleep – starting to have micro-sleeps without being aware you have fallen asleep and the possibility of hallucinations.
    • 72 hours without sleep – difficulty distinguishing between what is real and what is not.

    So, getting back to the question, “why would I need a sleep coach?” We got this. 

    No one NEEDS a coach, right? 

    A couple of years ago, I made the decision to join a gym and take classes with a personal trainer. Why? Any of us could exercise on our own or at home. I can download “exercise at home” apps, and do press-ups on the living room floor every morning. But many of us (myself included!) struggle to make this effective, or a long-term commitment. Not because we are useless or undisciplined or lazy, but because it’s very difficult to keep turning up, be objective, give accurate feedback, and to do the energy boosting when it’s you coaching you.

    I know I can do things on my own. I can do exercise on a regular basis without a gym or a trainer. But am I going to push myself past where I think is comfortable? And the flip-side – am I able to support myself? Will I notice when I am over-doing it and accurately correct my form? Will I be kind when I need to be? And will I give myself helpful, constructive feedback that helps me make better choices?

    I might try to do all these things. But, if I am being honest with myself, I need external forces to help me be a better me.

    Dammit.

    So, a sleep coach might not be a necessity, but sleep is! And from my own experience, getting what you need is sometimes impossible without help. When you are sleep deprived, exhausted and run down, you are physically impaired and it’s extremely difficult to make good choices or decisions.

    Fundamentally, I see coaching as being ‘with you’. Not having all the answers, not telling you what to do. Instead, shining light on the resources and skills you already have and maybe nudging you towards your potential. When things are tough, that’s when you shouldn’t have to do it alone.

    When has coaching been useful for you?

  • Who needs coaching?

    The first answer that pops into my head, is it’s ME. I need coaching!

    It might sound a little odd but one of the reasons for cooking up The Sleep Lab is that all these years of learning to live with narcolepsy, I have been in training as a sleep coach – coaching myself.

    Sleep has basically been a big mystery that I have had to untangle.

    Together, me (coach Liesel) and me (the desperate-for-help-with-my-sleep Liesel) have been working out strategies for managing my sleep. I think I have been pretty lucky. I have had support and access to education/knowledge, which has meant I have been able to slowly build systems that have helped me operate. At one level this try everything out approach has been an incredible source of learning, as I have personal experience of what can work and what doesn’t. Over time, I have been test-using my own systems, tweaking them, trying different ways, and then integrating these systems into routines. My own lived experience has helped me build up a number of excellent sleep/energy monitoring and managing methods. So thank you, narcolepsy!

    I also think if some of the sleep knowledge I have now had been available to me earlier, it would have freed up my (limited) energy for how I live my life and spend my time. In other words, I would have benefited from a real live sleep coach.

    So, The Sleep Lab is my attempt to do some untangling, some boosting and a bit of pushing (when needed) for you!

    I want to save you the effort and the energy of navigating a lack of information, feeling sleep deprived or full of sleepiness, and then attempting to make good decisions about life – by yourself. And to clarify in case you were thinking “but I don’t have narcolepsy”, sleep coaching is not just for people with a sleep condition like narcolepsy. I like to think sleep coaching is for anyone and everyone who is willing to commit to the process of transformation.

    So the question is, are you ready to untangle, get curious about small changes, and transform your sleep? I’m ready, whenever you are.